Posted by: Lynn Bedri | November 29, 2010

Time for change…

Since July 30th so much has happened.. within.  Countless times I’ve tried to come here to write.  Actually, I’ve written scores…. in my mind.  What is it about sitting down and writing thoughts, events, hopes and dreams?  What is it that keeps us from connecting inwardly as if we just can’t get it “right”.   I know, I know… just do it!  Easier said than done.

And here’s the phone… one more time it’s the mundane.

Posted by: Lynn Bedri | August 13, 2010

July 30th … What a day ! Part I

For the past month I’ve gone back and forth about going to a family reunion that seemed to be one of those “life events”. The kind I remember from childhood where my mother’s family, the Fannin clan, gathered in Boise, Idaho.  It was 1954 or 55.  I remember because my brother wasn’t born yet, or was brand new.  As has been usual for a while, finances were my big concern about going and I was trying to figure out ways to make this  trip happen.  Anyway… a week before the July 31st event I awoke and thought, “I should have some United miles left. Maybe …?!!!” So, I got online and then phoned United all to learn that my miles had expired in 2007. 😦 Sigh.)  Okay, that’s proof that I’m not to go.  You’d think I would have left it at that, but no.  My emotions were in play and I really wanted to go because I’d learned that the last 3 of my mother’s siblings were going to be there. Who knows who might not be here for the next reunion. So, with discussion with my brother, Brian, and cousin, Deb, one more last ditch effort was made to figure out a way for me to get there. A plan was made and I decided to drive to Boise.  Google said it would only take 10 hours to go 600 miles.  “Easy!”, said I. 

But what I wasn’t paying attention to was a funny feeling, tucked in the back of my mind and heart that something wasn’t right.  I wasn’t sure I really should go to this no matter how much I might want to.  Nothing was coming together easily.  Everything was a struggle, even forced effort.  That was a big flag, but still I pushed forward.  

So, the morning of July 30th began at 3:45AM.  Marshall thought I had said 3:30 and as I gathered myself together from being jolted awake at 3:45AM,  I bluntly said, “no, I said 4 – 4:15AM….(totally not happy)”.   Oh well, I’m up and the extra 20 minutes won’t make any difference.  I wonder how 5 hours sleep will stretch over 10 hours of driving… 

I got out the door by 4:25AM.  Went and filled up with petrol and was on the road by 4:45AM.  Wow!  I did it!  Eyes felt a bit gravely, but I’m on my way!  Hopefully I’ll be pulling into the Holiday Inn Express by 3:30PM which would be right about the time that several cousins flights will arrive.  Perfect!

I make my way onto Hwy. 80 in Roseville heading towards Reno so I can pick up Hwy. 395 up to Boise. 

Driving through the Sierra’s is always beautiful.  I love the Sierra’s.  Each season shows the richness of Mother Earth and at 7,000+ feet the beauty is mixed with clear, sweet air.  I was enjoying the scenery on an almost empty freeway.  I had even been thinking how odd it was, no matter how early in the day,  that the highway was so empty.  NPR had been telling me the day’s events and I was about to turn it off because at that moment in time I wasn’t interested in the world.  The beauty around me was more than enough.   I was coming upon the Donner Pass exit and saw that the Rest Area was closed.  Sad that a very necessary Rest Area, in such a beautiful, historic place,  was closed during these times.   So glad the history of Donner Pass is being corrected as well.

I saw that no one was ahead of me for at least a quarter to half a mile and no one was behind me for about the same.  I even thought how odd that was and that driving early in the day was a beautiful experience.  Which is very funny for those who know me.   I’m typically not an early morning gal!

The sun was rising and it was at the level where driving would be challenging because my sunglasses didn’t block as much glare as I needed.  The glare was really bad and was getting harder to deal with.  I was in the middle lane, with the sun right in my eyes and all I could do was focus on staying in that lane and finding a spot where the glare wasn’t as bad.   That’s when it happened!

I never saw them coming.  It happened in a blink of an eye, literally!   I had just passed the Donner Pass/Donner Lake exit.  I saw the summit sign and thought, ‘Good.  I’ll begin to get below the direct sunlight long enough for the sun to get above me.’ 

I was driving 60 – 65 mph.  Again, this is funny because I’m prone to going faster.  But I felt that the speed limit was just fine that day and that I wanted to enjoy this drive. 

I blinked.

Then I saw an eye of a deer looking at me as she was passing in front of my left tire.  I slammed on the brakes.  I didn’t have time to look anywhere but ahead of me.  Within an instant, as I hit the brakes, I saw something splatter across my passenger side window.  Another deer had hit me, full force, in the right headlight/bumper.  By the time I had slowed to 45-50 mph I was a good 50 – 100 feet (or more?!) from the point of impact.  I tried to see where the deer was. No sign.  I just saw a big rig rounding the bend about 1/8th of a mile behind me.  In that moment I prayed that no one else would be harmed and that Abraham was right and that the deer chose to meet its’ fate in this manner. 

I got off at the next exit, maybe a mile or so down the road.  I felt the tears, but couldn’t cry.  I felt a scream, but nothing would come out.  I also felt I was saved from something far worse.

I pulled into a Chevron station.  People were coming and going from the convenience store.  I phoned Marshall to tell him what had just happened.  He’s amazing in the moment of crisis.  Such a Capricorn!   He begins to ask questions beginning with, “Are you alright?”.  “Yes.  I didn’t have time to anticipate anything so I didn’t brace or any of that.  As far as I know I’m just shaken.”  I’ve gotten out of the car and now looking at the damage to my beautiful car.  Lord, it’s amazing that one critter can do so much damage!!!   He continued to ask more questions and then he asked, “What do you want to do?  Do you think it’s safe to continue to Boise or…?”   That was the question of the day.  What to do.   I told Marshall I’d call him back to let him know which way I would decide.

About that time a young man comes out of the convenience store and says, “Deer?”   “Yep.”    “They can do a lot of damage.  I’ve seen worse.  But you’ve been hit pretty bad.”   He begins to putter about, pulling broken chips of plastics out of the gaping hole where the headlamp had been pushed back into the car.  He pulls out the lamp and ties off the electrical cords.  He has me get into the car to move the tires to be sure they are okay and the wheel well hasn’t been bent.  They are good.  Then, as I’m still behind the wheel, he sweetly says (while using his index finger) “You know, if you were my mother I wouldn’t let you go anywhere but home!”   Okay, on top of everything, now I’m feeling even older that I had been feeling.  Great!  But his care and concern were genuine and all I could do was laugh at myself and appreciate how Spirit uses us to say the right things at the right times, just not always the way we can appreciate!  🙂    He repeats this at least one more time, for sure, maybe two more times.  (sigh)  He leaves and I get to decide what is right for me to do.

Posted by: Lynn Bedri | July 22, 2010

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Posted by: Lynn Bedri | July 15, 2010

Something New…

Blogging has been scary, even frightening to me before.  Even listening to folks talk about blogging, or beginning to blog would have me quivering.  Why?  Not a clue.  Maybe it’s that “one more thing” in this world to learn/need/do. One more thing to feel obligated to or about! But…..(drum roll please!), here I am.  I haven’t a clue what to write about, much less what to say.  Isn’t the world full of people with loads of opinions?!  So, will I blog or won’t I… that is the question.
“And therefore as a stranger give it welcome.  There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
Am I going to pretend to Shakespeare or be Horatio?
Stay tuned!

Posted by: Lynn Bedri | July 15, 2010

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